Athena’s Experience: “I felt abandoned.”
Athena, originally from Laos, is a single mother of a 14-year-old boy with autism and global developmental delay. Her only family in the UK consists of her close friend, Lisa, who also has a son with learning disabilities. Athena and Lisa both work full time. In July, Athena, in intense pain, called 111 who advised her to go to the hospital.
“My body was on fire; I was in so much pain I couldn’t think. I had to call my friend for help, and she had to call another friend to care for her son who also has learning disabilities, and he is in a wheelchair as well.”
Once Lisa arrived, she called an ambulance for Athena. Not having anyone to look after him, Athena had to take him to the hospital with her. Despite being in pain and having her son with special needs with her, they were waiting for 7.5 hours at Queen Elizabeth Hospital.
“I couldn't move and my feet started getting purplish blue, then they realised that I was going to collapse and they finally took us in to a ward.”
I was calling and calling but nobody answered the phone, I was desperate and felt completely alone. Where are the social services when you need them.
Worried about who would be looking after Athena’s son, Lisa tried to reach out to the duty social workers from Children's Social Services. Multiple calls went unanswered. Helping her friend, Lisa tried her best to find support for Athena’s son, although her time was limited due to her responsibilities at home.
“I was calling and calling but nobody answered the phone, I was desperate and felt completely alone. Where are the social services when you need them,” said Lisa.
When Children's Social Services returned their call after a couple of hours, they tried to persuade Lisa to take Athena's 14-year-old son with her. Lisa explained that she cares for a child with Special Educational Needs (SEN) and couldn't commit to looking after both children. Lisa said offers of financial assistance and persuasion to accept the boy were made. Frustrated and upset by the suggestion of placing a child with someone Social Services hadn't vetted or known; Lisa rejected the offer.
“Athena wasn’t able to make decisions and I was talking to social services. They were trying to convince me to take her son Anuson. The lady on the phone kept saying to me, you take him, you take him. I told her everything about my son that he is on a wheelchair. He's severely disabled. And Anuson also needs oneto-one support, but they didn’t want to understand,” said Lisa
“The matron came and started asking me where is the father and why is he not taking him? I started to cry, I wanted to die. I am a widow why you make me feel bad?,”
After anxious discussions with Athena and Lisa, the hospital reluctantly decided to admit the boy to the "Safari" ward, as there were no other suitable options. Athena was really upset that her son had to stay in Safari ward even though he was not sick, taking him away from his home and everything he was used to. A couple of days later, a Safari ward staff member visited Athena asked her why her son’s father was not taking care of him.
“The matron came and started asking me where is the father and why is he not taking him? I started to cry, I wanted to die. I am a widow why you make me feel bad?,” said Athena.
After eight days, they returned home. Athena is still struggling with her health. Her experience has made her worried about her future and what will happen to her son if she becomes sick again.
“I am sharing my story to help others. There must be a plan for people in my situation,” Athena added. “I felt abandoned, but People shouldn't feel abandoned.”
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