Adebayo’s story: “Befriending is not just about fighting loneliness – it’s about feeling connected, remembered, and respected.”
When Adebayo moved to Greenwich from Nigeria, he was filled with excitement. The vibrant streets, lined with a mix of modern shops and historical buildings, offered new adventure. But moving to a new city came with challenges, and Adebayo struggled to find a job. “I’d completed my data analytics certification but was finding it difficult to get an entry level role. I thought volunteering would help me get the experience I needed.”
Volunteering with Healthwatch Greenwich as a befriender felt like the perfect opportunity, not only to build valuable skills but also to help connect with his new community. Soon, Adebayo was meeting with Victor, his 85-year-old client. Their weekly calls quickly became a cherished routine, and both looked forward to sharing their stories. “Sometimes all someone needs is for you to listen,” Adebayo says. "Victor, for example, loves sharing stories about places he visited decades ago. When I tell him about my plans, he reminisces about those same places; it brings back beautiful memories for him.”
But after a few weeks of speaking to Victor, Adebayo began to see the deeper, harsher truths that lay beneath their pleasant conversation. Victor was, in fact, isolated; he had no one else to talk to. This was unimaginable for Adebayo, who had always been surrounded by family and friends.
I’m the only person he speaks to; that’s such a big deal. His only other human contact is when he goes grocery shopping or, occasionally, for a drink. But even that has become rare because of the cost of living. The loneliness he experiences is hard to imagine.
The realisation that Victor had no support system made Adebayo reflect on the challenges that can come with older age. “He’s in his 80s, but he has to do everything himself – maintaining a house and garden that is filled with overgrown weeds, fighting an ongoing battle with rats, and managing his affairs despite years of mental stress from past trauma. It’s emotionally draining to think about.”
And while he admires all the work being done to support older residents in the borough, Adebayo recognises critical gaps. “There’s so much more that needs to be done. Yes, resources are stretched, but people like Victor form a crucial part of our community. They have so much wisdom to share, and we need to make them feel valued.”
For Adebayo, befriending may not be a solution to all these challenges, but it’s a crucial first step toward fostering connection and restoring dignity to those like Victor.
Rarely are older residents asked about how they feel or what they want. Befriending gives them a chance to be heard, and that alone can make a world of difference. Befriending is not just about fighting loneliness – it’s about feeling connected, remembered, and respected.
